388: EQ vs. IQ: Why Emotional Intelligence Wins in Business with Chuck Garcia | Mind Your Business

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I wish I had learned this when I was in college because when I went into the Wall Street World,

[00:00:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I did not quite understand how to weigh act under pressure which means I was spending half my time doing my job

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and half my time worrying about my job. What's the implication? I wasn't full on board capable.

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_01]: I was too busy worrying about oh my god what's going to happen if.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not often I get to sit in the studio with a college professor, someone who had a top position

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_00]: in a Fortune 500 company and many other aspects, it's none other than Chuck Garcia.

[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And we're going to be talking about emotional intelligence.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: IQ! Everyone who are a Vike, what's my IQ score? Wait a second. What's emotional intelligence?

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_00]: EQ and how that can make your career soar.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Chuck, a treat to have you back in the studio here. First of all thank you.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_01]: The thank you for having any back yet. It's not like I feel very at home in your studio and thank you for having me.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Now this relationship is now eight years.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_01]: You, John McLaughlin.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_01]: John McLaughlin and always a shout out to John when my book, a climb to the top.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_01]: My first book was released in May of 2016.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_01]: You did an act of kindness and a solid for me that I will never forget and then I strive to repay.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_01]: It was the day my book was released.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I came on to your show and I cannot thank you enough in your team for just being such a wonderful partner in my journey.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And for the honor of being able to talk about the climb to the top at the release on your show.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I, I grateful for that.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: It's it's a very special relationship indeed.

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: And again, a special thank you to John McLaughlin.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: He nailed it.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And he has a great connector.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00]: What you're doing.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Now last we spoke was a year ago and it was before the release of now, which I'm holding.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: And by the way, thank you, of course me and me, help a treated to a personalized copy.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Of course, you know, special that means that's the moment that defines your life.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: In integrating emotional intelligence and stoicism when your life career and family are on the line.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: This was released and again, for the people that signed up early, they got the digital version and then the, and then the physical version.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Talk about since last year that journey and now it's out there.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_01]: It's in book stores talk about the journey when I thought about how I'm going to follow up a climb to the top and for the listeners or now viewers that don't know me my first book.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_01]: A climb to the top uses mountaineering as a metaphor for how to career climb, but as a mountaineer I relied on ice axes and crampons to climb.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_01]: But instead, the metaphor serves that we use communication skills by which we climb our career mountains.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_01]: What I found yet, sock, in my coaching practice and in my teaching at Columbia University,

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_01]: I was teaching people to communicate, but there were a couple instances where I was finding my methods are not landing something is not working.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: I am trying to help someone with the communication tactics that I outlined in my book which is called Biblically, the 10 Commandments of Creative Communicators.

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_01]: And it really culminates in what it I learned as a public spokesman for many years for Bloomberg and what did I learn from the very best communicators.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_01]: But here is where there was a disconnect.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_01]: As I was teaching people these methods, every now and then somebody was just not, it wasn't resonated.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_01]: And at first I wondered, alright, is it him?

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Her, me, where is the disconnect?

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_01]: And I subsequently came to find out that for some of those cases, it wasn't that they weren't adopting the tactics that I was teaching.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I subsequently found out that the reason they don't seem to be advancing is because they're scared to death.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't quite appreciate what is it the fear that we're trying to address when people are communicating?

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_01]: And I never really thought about that until I hit a case where I need to solve this problem.

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_01]: So I said, and I went home scratching my head, how am I going to solve this problem?

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And if I solve one problem, could this be applicable to other people that are feeling the same?

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_01]: And what I found at Sock is upon trying to uncover what is happening, people started to talk through the lens of their fears.

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, what are you afraid of?

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm afraid of judgment.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm afraid of making a mistake.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm afraid of falling flat on my face.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_01]: And in my point to them, particularly in the executive world where I coach, I said, well, you hired me for a purpose.

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but if you don't help me to remove my fears, you could teach me all day long. It's not going to help.

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_01]: So what that did yet Sock it led to in my mind and in my heart, I started to develop a different method away from simply the communication skills that had to augment.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_01]: How do I help someone to become a more appellate compelling communicator?

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_01]: And what I found is, through the years I had learned this social science called emotional intelligence.

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_01]: And the old thatage once taught twice learned.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_01]: When I started to teach emotional intelligence, I began to see the tie to communications that the more that I could help somebody identify, measure and monitor their emotional intelligence, which is driven by mostly by self awareness.

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Are you aware of the fear? How do we help you remove it? Because some people are not aware that they're afraid, they just act afraid and don't know how to label it.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_01]: So we needed to put some kind of moniker on this problem we're trying to solve and it came down to emotional intelligence, which is the first part of the book.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01]: But here's where it changed its arc.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Since the 1990s when emotional intelligence was invented so to speak, as modern social science.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_01]: By a guy named Daniel Goldman, a Harvard psychologist writes this book called the Motial Emotional Intelligence Why EQ is more important than IQs.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Like okay that's catchy.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_01]: All right what is this thing?

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_01]: As I was learning EQ, I said, all right there's a million EQ books out there.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_01]: If I'm going to write about this, I need to write about how EQ manifested in the context of how I used it.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_01]: And what I found is I started to help people improve when I integrated it with this philosophy that seemed far into me, particularly when I was in college and people talked about this philosophy called stoicism.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I was completely ignorant to it or I was too dimwitted to understand it.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01]: But when people talked about philosophy, it seemed unreachable.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_01]: At a touch, I didn't know what they were talking about.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_01]: But this concept of stoicism, the recognition that I am not what happened to me and the event that occurs in your life,

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_01]: it's really driven by how I choose to perceive that event.

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_01]: And this is where now I'll get to the heart of the question,

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_01]: The moment that defines your life was driven by my desire to write a book on emotional intelligence, but to integrate it with the philosophy in a way that no one had written before

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_01]: because it was unique to me, to how it is I helped my students and the people that hired me to coach them.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_01]: So the book was really driven by or at least the title.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_01]: What we know in our lives is our days, our months, our weeks, and our moments are not equally weighted.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_01]: You could go about for 10 years and nothing happens or you could have a lifetime happen in two weeks.

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_01]: We don't know that's unpredictable.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Some people even say sometimes weeks happen in decades, sometimes decades happen in weeks.

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_01]: So what I found yet sockets at how am I going to write this book?

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_01]: When I started to reach out to my world with the idea to write this book,

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_01]: what everyone was talking about that was me or interior to my heart is a lot of what they learned about themselves,

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_01]: what they learned about the world, but they learned about others was driven by a moment.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Now in my case something you and I talked about when I came on your show years ago is my moment.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I had a couple moments, but a 9-11, when we won't get into that, but a 9-11,

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I was on a dead list for four hours.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_01]: And something happens to your psyche when you're unaccounted for it and presumed dead.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And I was one of them. That was a moment.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_01]: The moment when I saw my name on a list, presumed dead,

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I could not imagine if my wife and my children saw my name on that list.

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_01]: That is a moment.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_01]: So what I decided to do, I'm going to write this book and I'm going to use narratives of other people that had moments,

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_01]: including my own because I think I needed to establish credibility that I might know what I'm talking about.

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And the common thread between the narratives were integrating how we helped work through our issues,

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_01]: our problems, challenges, obstacles, whatever you may call them.

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Born a legication did not teach us how to get through that.

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_01]: But what I learned over time, if we can integrate the social science of emotional intelligence,

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_01]: with a mindset of philosophy, the way that we pursue and approach different circumstances in our lives,

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_01]: maybe we're around as something.

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_01]: So that the book is a series of stories about a lot of people from many walks of life,

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_01]: where I in the narration of the story, talk about their story arc, the moment that climaxed

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_01]: and really help them recognize something about themselves,

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and how I applied the tools of emotional intelligence and the philosophy of stoicism

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_01]: to put their story in perspective and to help the reader understand that one day this may be you,

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_01]: don't go to long. Here are prescriptions. Here is a perspective of how I can help you deal with it.

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Now before we go back to the script, okay, there's something that I just would love to reflect on

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_00]: because I'm always impressed when someone is so cute in that they are self aware.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_00]: You had brought up that and correctly so that you're teaching and is it really resonating?

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Now, there are many people out there like, I taught it. They should be getting it.

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_00]: If they weren't concentrating, meaning it's therefore, it's therefore. But you said,

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00]: what were you the second? Maybe I could be doing something differently.

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: How and before we even go back to the script and EQ, how important is it for someone to be mindful

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_00]: and self aware? Maybe it's me, not them.

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. Well, thank you for posing that but I think it's well worth going deep into it.

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And I want to put this into perspective of how I simply came to be self aware.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I work for a guy named Mike Bloomberg who we all know and I learned a lot from him but I think

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_01]: when I reflect on what I learned most, Mike was always the one saying,

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I, then saying him. He's talking about himself. I am accountable or whatever anyone in this organization does.

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_01]: He taught us the importance of holding ourselves accountable and he led by example because no matter what was happening,

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_01]: he wanted to take accountability but to those who were given much much as expected, he held us accountable and expected

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_01]: us to adopt the same ethos of accountability. So when you think about before we even get into

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_01]: the concept of self awareness and what I had to examine to become a better teacher,

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I left the Bloomberg world and ultimately now in coaching and teaching at Columbia.

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I bring that same mindset of accountability. It's me. If there is something going on here,

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_01]: the first thing that I have to examine if it's not working,

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I have to be accountable to solve the problem. I cannot assume that this was driven by somebody else.

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_01]: No, maybe it was but it's not my starting point and that's what I learned from him.

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_01]: So when I started to teach, there were many people who were adopting my methods and they were amazing. They could teach

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_01]: my methods. But when somebody wasn't, what I learned from Mike is before we go and point fingers and

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_01]: start saying hey, it's your problem. It's not. It's my problem first and where I started to develop that concept

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_01]: of becoming self aware, started with who is accountable to solve this problem? Me. Okay. How do I solve

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_01]: it? Well, it starts with self examination and the four pillars of emotional intelligence are self-awareness,

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_01]: social awareness, the capacity to read a room, self management and relationship management. What I'm

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_01]: describing is where it begins. Was I sufficiently self aware to take the energy I had for examination

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_01]: and start with the self? And this is why I wrote the book It's Not Because When I thought about that

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_01]: concept of the philosophy of stoicism, it talks about the self, not in a selfish way to the

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_01]: culture that the accountability begins here. Once we examine the self, only then should we give

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_01]: ourselves permission to examine the other. So to your point what you picked up on it as I was struggling to

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_01]: figure out how to solve a problem, it had to start with me. Now that doesn't say that the person I'm

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_01]: working with isn't equally accountable, but I think when it comes to accountability, it's not even

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_01]: the allocated. Everybody has a different idea. Oh, it's his fault. I'm going to blame the world.

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I lost the election because okay. Maybe I don't think that way. I have a responsibility

[00:14:50] [SPEAKER_01]: to the people in my charge to teach them and if they are not learning, it's not that they don't

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_01]: get it. It would be easy for me to write that off. I'm just not going to let that go. So the self-awareness,

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_01]: the hiller of emotional intelligence, it has to start there because the philosophy of stoicism says,

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_01]: there's only one thing on this planet that I can control. It's not my spouse. It's not my kids.

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_01]: It's not my job. It's me. My behavior and my sense of accountability. That's what the self-awareness is.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_00]: We're speaking with Chuck Garcia, noted professor, mountain climber and author and his new

[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_00]: release is latest release. The moment that defines your life. By the way, what are the recommended

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_01]: methods for someone picking up the book? The book is available in several places, but obviously

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_01]: you can get it in on amazon.com and you can get it in hardcover, you can get it in Kindle,

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_01]: you can go to Barnes and Noble to thrith books. There is no lack of ways to get it. You can also

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_01]: go to my website, Chuck Garcia.com where I describe both the moment and my first book

[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_01]: a climb to the top and where to get them. Really easy in the modern world. Now Chuck, the world of

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_00]: EQ as you mentioned, I mean, it's not new in concept, but in the early 90s is when someone like

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: said, ah, there was like that aha moment. IQ everyone recognized you could take a test, but wait a second.

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_00]: There's emotions. In fact, maybe we could even open this part of the conversation up with the quote from

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Maya Angel because it doesn't that isn't that like a foundational mindset of EQ? It is. In fact,

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to share that and integrate it with something from EQ, the book emotional intelligence.

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_01]: And what Yitzaka is referring to, the best advice I have ever received was not from a business person.

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_01]: It was from a poet and activist, the late great Maya Angel. And I remember I was

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_01]: listened to her and I remember somebody said to her, what's the one piece of advice that you would

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_01]: give to us sitting in this audience? And she said, that people will forget what I said,

[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_01]: people will forget what I did, but they will never and you heard a pause for dramatic effect.

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Forget how I made him feel. And what she talked about was the power of the interaction.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_01]: What happens when you meet someone? What happened when I walked into the door to your studio?

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not walking in here tactlessly, I think and I just got another hour I got to do.

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_01]: There is a feeling of emotion that guides my energy and helps me to determine how to allocate it

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_01]: toward the people in my life that are important. And when Maya said that, I was like, wow,

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_01]: huh, you know what? I thought about every interaction I've ever had. What do I remember about

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_01]: my closest friends as how they make me feel? They're welcoming, they're inviting,

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_01]: they're open-minded, they're talking, they're listening. It's a feeling. It has nothing to do with

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: the mind and everything to do with the heart. Yet, what do we learn in school? It's a mind. Not that

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_01]: hard as devoid of it is just we're not tested for it. But we are tested for it in every interaction.

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_01]: You and I is business people, we have clients. How do they feel about us? There's a million

[00:18:17] [SPEAKER_01]: people who do what you and I do. So why are you and I hired? Well, we're accountable, but also

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I'd like to think that when people work with us, they feel good and fulfilled. That is never to

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_01]: be underestimated. And then yet, so when I started to read this book, emotional intelligence,

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_01]: there was a quote right from the beginning of the book that really struck me and it was said this.

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_01]: CEOs are hired for their intellect and expertise, pause for a dramatic effect, and fired for

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_01]: their lack of emotional intelligence. What happened in the 90s is you and I know,

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_01]: is the social fabric started to change. The internet wasn't play, so everything was on display.

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_01]: If you said something that was offensive, you were going to be on Twitter in five seconds how

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_01]: you say that. That all of a sudden, there was a high-ch heightened consciousness to how we behave,

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_01]: but particularly to people who run companies are very visible. And so while they may be hired

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_01]: for their experience, the world was no longer going to let them get away with their offensive behavior.

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_01]: That was no longer intolerable. Now when I grew up in the Wall Street world in the 80s,

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_01]: nobody paid a lick of attention to our behavior. People got away and I cringe.

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_01]: All often over what I heard, one person say to another, he couldn't believe that everybody just

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_01]: shrugged it off. Oh, that's business. We do not live in that world any longer. Everything we say

[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_01]: is under examination. It's under a microscope there. What does that mean? That means that we see

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_01]: yours, you, me, we are all accountable for our behavior in ways that a generation ago didn't

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_01]: seem to matter. And I think that, yes, Ark is the fabric of EQ and stoicism. We, if we expect

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_01]: to succeed in the world, there are other factors that are going to drive people's capacity to

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_01]: want to follow us as leaders. Leadership in follower ship is not about, hey, follow Chuck,

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_01]: he's your boss. Okay, that's compliance. But what you and I, what we've talked about often

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_01]: is who are the people that we admire? The people that we choose to follow. In my case,

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_01]: it's the ones that make me feel good about following them. Right. And I'd like to think that if somebody

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_01]: is going to follow me, I'm going to give them a reason of a full filling experience, a circumstance

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_01]: that's going to make them feel this as someone I want to follow. And that's what I try to

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_01]: express in the book that half of what we do is behave, maybe more than half. But our behavior

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_01]: is always on display, our intellect sometimes as needed. But we never are far from the capacity

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_01]: to treat someone with kindness and respect. And yet how often do we not see that? Well,

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_01]: maybe it's something that needs to be taught. And what I learned over the years, he had

[00:21:21] [SPEAKER_01]: sought all of this that I described in the moment that the find your life is learned behaviors.

[00:21:26] [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, I will even say when I consider my formal education, the books that I wrote are the

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_01]: books that I wish I had read when I was in college. And that's part of why I read it was

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_01]: like, why did not somebody tell us about this stuff? We crammed, we examed and we regurgitated.

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Where did that have to do with how we make somebody feel? So you see the discredits.

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Now Chuck, let's talk about applying this to the team. Right. So there are teams. I

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_00]: but small teams, medium sized teams, their teams that remember companies that have 100 employees,

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_00]: have a staff of 500. They started off with a dream and may have been five people, 10 people,

[00:22:19] [SPEAKER_00]: what are some tips and tricks from your experience? And you have clients that you coach and

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_00]: teams that you coach that in order to make sure that the goals, the vision, they're aligned,

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_01]: they're communicating with each other. Yeah. Well, it starts with let's look at the demand

[00:22:36] [SPEAKER_01]: from the employers and what they seek in their talent. UNI are active on LinkedIn, it's ack.

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_01]: And every year LinkedIn publishes two lists that I'm keen to review. One of them for my Columbia

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Engineers, what are the STEM subjects most in demand? Right now, artificial intelligence,

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_01]: blockchain technology, cloud computing, those things you would expect that they appear on more

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_01]: job ads on LinkedIn than any others. Okay, what do I do for a living? Leadership competencies

[00:23:04] [SPEAKER_01]: and they do publish the other list which are at the top 10 soft skills that appear on more

[00:23:13] [SPEAKER_01]: job ads than any other. And invariably, emotional intelligence is number five on that list. Thank

[00:23:20] [SPEAKER_01]: God, that's really good. Communication is number one no surprise but what's number three,

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_01]: team working collaboration. So the first thing that we can acknowledge is companies are actively

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_01]: telling their perspective employees this matters. Why does it matter? And all my years on Wall Street,

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_01]: what every CEO was trying to figure out how do we as an organization, recognizing all of us is

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_01]: better than any one of us, how do we maximize productivity? Well, we know it in sports because it's

[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_01]: on display or you watch a football or soccer team and we know we know the good teams from the

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_01]: disconnected teams. The tough part about an organization, we're not on display on TV. It all

[00:24:03] [SPEAKER_01]: happens somehow invisibly but it has to happen. What I have found in this executive world and I coach

[00:24:10] [SPEAKER_01]: many companies, a lot in the financial sector, tech sector mostly because that's where my

[00:24:16] [SPEAKER_01]: category lies. What I find is the frustration from the people that hire me, how do I get people

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_01]: to work better together? And then it goes back to the self-awareness, yet socking we have to ask ourselves,

[00:24:30] [SPEAKER_01]: why? We can't assume, oh they don't work together because they're different race,

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_01]: create color has nothing to do with that. Well, maybe a touch but for the most part,

[00:24:38] [SPEAKER_01]: people come into companies when it comes to technical competence. Let's just say that everyone

[00:24:43] [SPEAKER_01]: is pretty close on the same plane. They're pretty good at what they do and while they're learning

[00:24:48] [SPEAKER_01]: to do it better but where does the frustration lie when they are asked to do something with someone

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_01]: else? What happens? Break down in communication. It's the old adage I know what I said,

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_01]: now tell me what you heard and invariably I said red and you heard blue. How could that be?

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And many of us, when we we give an instruction to 10 people and we find that six follow it,

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_01]: two do it beyond expectation and two aren't even close. We asked you to do the same

[00:25:22] [SPEAKER_01]: as baffling isn't that? Until I figured out oh my god what is happening here?

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I use an exercise to help solve this problem which is called the four compass points.

[00:25:36] [SPEAKER_01]: I went everyone to think about when you are assigned a task. There is a default and there

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_01]: are four defaults that occur to any human being when it comes to the task and I use it in the

[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_01]: metaphor of a compass because I put it in terms of north, south, east and west so I want you to

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_01]: consider in your mind if you were given a task to do recognizing you're going to do with other people

[00:26:03] [SPEAKER_01]: if you are the kind of person that jumps in. Yeah let's go you are in the north. You are a

[00:26:10] [SPEAKER_01]: let's do it forget the details. If you are in the east, you like the big picture. You want to

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_01]: say hey what are we doing here? I want to know what is the end in mind? What is it where actually

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_01]: trying to do before we begin? Where is the people in north that doesn't matter let's just begin.

[00:26:29] [SPEAKER_01]: If you are on the west, you're the detail or you're in an individual. I want details. I cross my

[00:26:35] [SPEAKER_01]: tease, I don't mind. This isn't happening until I know all the details and if you were in the south,

[00:26:40] [SPEAKER_01]: your default setting is you are the harmonizer. Yeah it's one thing to have the details. Yeah

[00:26:46] [SPEAKER_01]: you need the big picture but I'm the guy that makes everybody feel better and we need that.

[00:26:51] [SPEAKER_01]: So what I do in this exercise is revealing because for the first time in many companies history

[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_01]: we're actually taking the time to look at the room when I ask everyone go to your compass point.

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And what happens yet so if we were a helicopter hovering above, you're seeing four people go to

[00:27:13] [SPEAKER_01]: any one of four corners. It is striking when everyone gets to their corner and you're looking around

[00:27:20] [SPEAKER_01]: oh my god I had no idea you thought that way. Yes I'm a detail oriented individual. I'm not

[00:27:27] [SPEAKER_01]: indifficult because I'm trying to sideline the project. I need details. That's why you thought

[00:27:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I was a jerk. I wasn't. What is happening here? It's not. We're now beginning to understand even

[00:27:40] [SPEAKER_01]: if just a slight opening. Oh my god our operating styles are different. Right. Well we may think

[00:27:46] [SPEAKER_01]: they're different but now we're putting a science to it. We're not just saying that our operating

[00:27:50] [SPEAKER_01]: styles are different. We're identifying them, we're acknowledging them, we're letting in people know

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah this is your default setting. There's nothing wrong with that but if you're in the north

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_01]: and you're giving a project and you're accountable for that project and you're working with someone

[00:28:05] [SPEAKER_01]: in the south, best we know what we're getting into. No different than a marriage, a best friend.

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_01]: EQ is a method by which we understand ourselves. We begin to understand others and we have an

[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_01]: reading style by which we can say oh my god this is revelatory. Now I understand wow!

[00:28:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Now I know why you were so picky on that project. I understand you. I see you. I get you. I hear

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_01]: you. I understand you. That is what's missing in the corporate world because we're not intentional

[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_01]: about it. We just give them a project hope for the best some do. Find something not. I think that

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_01]: is too low. I think we should apply the same methods of self-examination that we started on this

[00:28:54] [SPEAKER_01]: episode with you when deep on self-awareness let's go deep on the team. Teams need to be self-aware.

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I know sports teams actually do have psychologists, have guys like me that help everybody

[00:29:06] [SPEAKER_01]: understand hey guys how are we going to row in the same boat? The corporate world it looks at

[00:29:11] [SPEAKER_01]: this sometimes as frivolous not my clients. So when does it hire me oh my god God knows

[00:29:16] [SPEAKER_01]: we need this it's not only refreshing it's useful it's practical and now people are beginning to

[00:29:22] [SPEAKER_01]: talk to each other about it hey this is great we're talking about our feelings.

[00:29:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Corporate America isn't supposed to talk about their feelings says oh 2024 best that we acknowledge

[00:29:36] [SPEAKER_01]: that we feel first and we think second when I grew up in the 80s it was think first feel never.

[00:29:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Chuck for the people that are fortunate enough to hire you and especially the corporate world

[00:29:50] [SPEAKER_00]: it's fascinating. This is part now I'm thinking about it like maybe why we connected and bonded

[00:29:56] [SPEAKER_00]: so well you're taking your how many years do you have Bloomberg? 14. 14 years at a one of the top

[00:30:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Fortune 500 companies and you answered to Mike you were in that sphere and of course as a professor

[00:30:16] [SPEAKER_00]: so understanding that world as well okay and of course as an author and as a speaker

[00:30:22] [SPEAKER_00]: for those that are saying themselves wow how can I get a hold at this guy? Okay what's the best

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_01]: thank you for for for for highlighting that but to anyone if I can be of assistance to you

[00:30:36] [SPEAKER_01]: if you remember my name Chuck Garcia make it one word and add a dot com. The good news is when

[00:30:42] [SPEAKER_01]: you get to my home page on the top right-hand corner of that page is a big blue button and it says

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_01]: the word contact it's really easy all you have to do is hit it give me your name I'll be back to you

[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_00]: in the day and he's very approachable I want to say even though with old credentials he's very

[00:30:59] [SPEAKER_01]: well I appreciate that try to be try to be humble and kind always thank you it's true okay now we're

[00:31:06] [SPEAKER_00]: going to get to a delicate topic that you dive right in and discuss in the moment that defines your

[00:31:14] [SPEAKER_00]: life okay unpredictability okay now let's talk about the mental model you spend a lot of time on

[00:31:23] [SPEAKER_00]: how we can turn unprecedented moments challenges uncharted waters even in times of chaos

[00:31:34] [SPEAKER_00]: into into a learning experience a positive experience something that I could take and grow from it

[00:31:40] [SPEAKER_01]: instead of crumble through it yeah let me I want to put this in a Wall Street type term that I hope

[00:31:49] [SPEAKER_01]: everyone can understand when we think about the world's greatest investors and those that I learned

[00:31:55] [SPEAKER_01]: from in addition to Mike Bloomberg I've read everything that Warren Buffett and his partner God

[00:32:00] [SPEAKER_01]: rest is so Charlie Munger ever ever ever I read everything that anyone has written about them

[00:32:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I read everything that they've written not because they are such great investors and worth 115

[00:32:10] [SPEAKER_01]: billion dollars I don't care about that but they are they Charlie Munger was and Warren Buffett

[00:32:16] [SPEAKER_01]: is they're very kind people who give really sound advice but I remember when Charlie Munger was talking

[00:32:21] [SPEAKER_01]: about his evolution at Berkshire Hathaway and what he talked about the individual career as sent

[00:32:27] [SPEAKER_01]: he talked about the importance of the development of what he calls mental models it's and we use

[00:32:34] [SPEAKER_01]: sometimes in terms of mental tools but think about this word mental model what does that mean

[00:32:40] [SPEAKER_01]: well what Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger talk about is they want everyone to recognize that we

[00:32:47] [SPEAKER_01]: are the sum of three mental circles or circle of competence this thing that we do and their

[00:32:54] [SPEAKER_01]: encouragement is to go deep in your circle of confidence don't work outside of it there's plenty

[00:32:59] [SPEAKER_01]: to do to stay in your circle of confidence being known as the best the best plumber in Brooklyn if

[00:33:06] [SPEAKER_01]: that's what you want to be known as don't go in a man hat and don't go to Queens that is your

[00:33:10] [SPEAKER_01]: circle of competence second circle circle of dignity what is not negotiable to you that's how I

[00:33:17] [SPEAKER_01]: know who you are by what you are not willing to tolerate circle of dignity and then the third one

[00:33:23] [SPEAKER_01]: is the circle of trust who's in your circle so what Buffett and Munger often talked about is any time

[00:33:29] [SPEAKER_01]: there is a circumstance there is a decision to be made mostly into decision model walk through

[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_01]: your circles is what I'm doing in is what is what somebody's asking me to do in my circle of

[00:33:43] [SPEAKER_01]: competence is what somebody's asking me to do does it not to betray my circle of dignity it has to

[00:33:51] [SPEAKER_01]: be something that is consistent with my ethos and then third who's oh my going to do this with

[00:33:57] [SPEAKER_01]: that is the circle of trust that's a tight circle so we have thousands of followers you and I

[00:34:03] [SPEAKER_01]: like to think they're my friends but they're not many of them I barely know but I do know who my

[00:34:08] [SPEAKER_01]: friends are and I will do anything for them as they would for me so we begin with the models that

[00:34:13] [SPEAKER_01]: everything that we approach could fit into a mental model okay then what well circumstances happen

[00:34:21] [SPEAKER_01]: that are unpredictable many of us have lived lives we would like to think that we can predict it was

[00:34:27] [SPEAKER_01]: going to happen but even in the US political scene and the last three weeks we have lived decades

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_01]: so much has happened and in our personal lives it's not that different sometimes not a lot

[00:34:38] [SPEAKER_01]: happens for a couple of years and all of a sudden babies are born people die things all happen

[00:34:44] [SPEAKER_01]: in in sequence so where does the moment that defines your life fit in what I talk about to the

[00:34:58] [SPEAKER_01]: and part of the mental models is recognizing this philosophy of stoicism has its own mental

[00:35:04] [SPEAKER_01]: models and when it talks about what Marcus surrealis in his book meditations that inspired me to

[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_01]: write the book talked about the mental models of stoicism justice courage wisdom and the

[00:35:18] [SPEAKER_01]: fourth one really got me temperance so the mental model what really speaks to me as temperance because I

[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_01]: think that is the X factor in all individuals are they calm under the weight of pressure in expectations

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_01]: take two people given the same situation one of them could become grace under fire and deliver

[00:35:41] [SPEAKER_01]: above expectations somebody else of equal intellect of the same education crushed under the weight of

[00:35:56] [SPEAKER_01]: that the majority of things that happen to us are unpredictable and that what I hope to encourage

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_01]: in the book is that you develop a set of guiding principles a set of tools that make you unique

[00:36:11] [SPEAKER_01]: but instead of trying to invent those tools it was invented thousands of years ago in ancient

[00:36:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Greek Greece and ancient Rome where we just simply bring their ancient philosophy into a modern context

[00:36:25] [SPEAKER_01]: so what happens when the world's the sky starts falling some people are going to panic and scream

[00:36:31] [SPEAKER_01]: and run I go through the mental models okay what's happening here how do I stay calm what is

[00:36:39] [SPEAKER_01]: the problem we're going to try to solve because if I just go off without any kind of fourth thought

[00:36:43] [SPEAKER_01]: that sky's going to fall on me so instead it starts with me what can I do to solve this problem I know

[00:36:49] [SPEAKER_01]: if I stay calm I got a shot of doing it what am I suggesting you to suck that this philosophy

[00:36:56] [SPEAKER_01]: that I'm talking about is conscious and intentional recognizing the circumstances beyond my control

[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_01]: okay not much I can do about it what can I do about it it's how I choose to react and I'm using

[00:37:11] [SPEAKER_01]: that word choose every one of us take 10 people in a room and put their fire under put their feet

[00:37:17] [SPEAKER_01]: we're all going to react differently right so I wish I had learned this when I was in college

[00:37:24] [SPEAKER_01]: because when I went into the Wall Street world I did not quite understand how to weigh act

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_01]: under pressure which means I was spending half my time doing my job and half my time worrying about

[00:37:34] [SPEAKER_01]: my job what's the implication I wasn't full on board capable I was too busy worrying about oh my

[00:37:41] [SPEAKER_01]: what's going to happen if I was not nearly as productive as I should have been until I figured out oh my

[00:37:48] [SPEAKER_01]: God and this is how I like to learn also from Mike Bloomberg about being fully productive but being

[00:37:54] [SPEAKER_01]: present alright you screwed up you made him a state get it out of your head and he was good about that

[00:37:59] [SPEAKER_01]: just fix it and move on clear your mind he used to say that all right no worries what's your next move

[00:38:05] [SPEAKER_01]: you can't do it if your mind is jumbled so don't worry about it this is where I learned

[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_01]: in that corporate world I learned from him because I saw the way that he behaved and I saw

[00:38:15] [SPEAKER_01]: how we led by example clear the mind wow you mean I'm not in trouble to worry about that because

[00:38:20] [SPEAKER_01]: if you think about that you're wasting your time so it was the development Mike confidence myself

[00:38:27] [SPEAKER_01]: confidence started to swear in my career when I started to stop thinking about or what could have

[00:38:34] [SPEAKER_01]: been what would have happened which would have happened unproductive thoughts we want to be able

[00:38:40] [SPEAKER_01]: to everything that we approach clear is it well even when I think about how we communicate is it

[00:38:46] [SPEAKER_01]: clear is it concise and is it purposeful so now everything I approach is in the frame of

[00:38:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I need to be clear I need to be concise and I need to be purposeful another mental model we ask

[00:38:58] [SPEAKER_01]: ourselves and we communicate so that's the exact there are many ways to apply these models but I

[00:39:04] [SPEAKER_01]: think the behavioral model of this temperance how do I temper that anger how do I channel the

[00:39:12] [SPEAKER_01]: fear into something productive God I wish someone had taught me that and I hope now to be the

[00:39:18] [SPEAKER_01]: teacher to others where they may not have learned that themselves now aside from the fact that you

[00:39:24] [SPEAKER_00]: are a professional coach for those that that just I don't say quick fix because they should be

[00:39:31] [SPEAKER_00]: intentional about it they can get it through the book the moment that defines your life what's

[00:39:37] [SPEAKER_01]: the best way people pick up the book yeah basically you must in some people live on Amazon anyway

[00:39:43] [SPEAKER_01]: if you go to amazon.com there's a couple ways of doing this remember my name from this broad

[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_01]: cast Chuck Garcia you can type in and low and behold you also get another book all the climb to

[00:39:52] [SPEAKER_01]: the top or you could just type in the moment that defines your life you can even google it or go to

[00:40:00] [SPEAKER_01]: chuckrc.com and you can just click it and it is available in audio form if you rather listen plenty

[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_01]: people said they want to listen so I went into a studio on 50 second street spent two days recording

[00:40:11] [SPEAKER_01]: the audiobook it was a lot of fun but people do like to listen they want to download it in the modern

[00:40:17] [SPEAKER_01]: world I I underestimated the amount of people I want to actually listen to my voice I

[00:40:22] [SPEAKER_01]: bring it on but thank you so there they're in the candle then there are all forms are available

[00:40:29] [SPEAKER_00]: okay now let's get to this still so much we got to get to it and I have some of your

[00:40:34] [SPEAKER_00]: statue in the studio it's it's exciting it's exciting around eight years ago someone by the name of

[00:40:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Chuck Garcia taught me how to pronounce mount kill a job I couldn't pronounce it before him

[00:40:49] [SPEAKER_00]: but more importantly is the fact where and I want to take I would like to take the audience back

[00:40:58] [SPEAKER_00]: to that spot eight years ago and it hit me like a ton of bricks there there's textbook teaching

[00:41:05] [SPEAKER_00]: great you could teach someone like oh you know climbing the top of the mountain is such a great

[00:41:10] [SPEAKER_00]: metaphor and you could see you right great and then there's wait a second students class yeah

[00:41:19] [SPEAKER_00]: followers we're going to the top of mountain come and like you said in a little show I say what's

[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_00]: the most important aspect I said getting to the top you said no no no get back down

[00:41:28] [SPEAKER_00]: yeah let's talk about the importance of teaching which is very nice you know textbook and

[00:41:37] [SPEAKER_00]: and doing clamping on those high those I'd be you know that that full gear and climbing

[00:41:45] [SPEAKER_00]: and oh my life lives on the line if you make a mistake yeah it's it's I want to put it in the

[00:41:53] [SPEAKER_01]: metaphor yet talk what what we are talking about here is what many of the educators call experiential

[00:41:58] [SPEAKER_01]: learning some call it active learning but to me experiential learning is not doing something in a

[00:42:03] [SPEAKER_01]: classroom well there are exercises you can do for experiential learning the mountain near in me

[00:42:09] [SPEAKER_01]: wanted to bring not only my love and my passion for the mountains because it taught me so much about

[00:42:13] [SPEAKER_01]: life I wanted to bring that same level of enthusiasm to my students but I before I did that I

[00:42:19] [SPEAKER_01]: wanted to communicate to them for those who have never climbed a mountain that when I was on Mount

[00:42:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Kalimajaro it hit me when we finished that mountain oh my god this entire trip was a metaphor for

[00:42:32] [SPEAKER_01]: how I climbed my career and what I thought about it I developed a mental model that had had three

[00:42:38] [SPEAKER_01]: things in common with my career number one said a goal now what I said to you my goal was not

[00:42:43] [SPEAKER_01]: to get to the sun my goal was to get home to my family because the summit is optional getting home

[00:42:48] [SPEAKER_01]: is mandatory the second part after you say your goal now the method how do you get there one step

[00:42:54] [SPEAKER_01]: at a time you'll think about the metaphor in business there's no shortcuts to the tough right

[00:42:57] [SPEAKER_01]: it's just just not gonna happen achievements are done with small steps over a long period of time

[00:43:05] [SPEAKER_01]: so set a goal one step at a time and then the most important you'd talk to me and that's really

[00:43:10] [SPEAKER_01]: where I derive the meaning you can't do it alone you cannot climb a mountain by yourself it's just

[00:43:15] [SPEAKER_01]: not quite well like you could but that's improved when we climbed career I could not have done

[00:43:21] [SPEAKER_01]: it alone I had wonderful mentors I made a lot of friends we helped each other we work with each

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_01]: that is how you climb a mountain so what I decided when I started teaching I'm gonna bring my

[00:43:32] [SPEAKER_01]: students and I have climbed I'm gonna say probably 11 mountains with my students

[00:43:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I've done seven of them we've done in New York states highest mountain called Mount Marcy

[00:43:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I've taken my students six times to New Hampshire's highest be called Mount Washington which is

[00:43:50] [SPEAKER_01]: 6,000 feet above sea level we wake up at 430 in the morning can you imagine getting a bunch of

[00:43:57] [SPEAKER_01]: 18 year olds it's a wake up at 430 I was a little concerned but I cracked a whip it's not negotiable

[00:44:03] [SPEAKER_01]: that bus leaves at 6 a.m. if at 6 so 1 you're complaining you miss the bus we're not coming back to get

[00:44:11] [SPEAKER_01]: you why did I do that to hold them accountable that if you're five minutes early your 10 minutes late

[00:44:17] [SPEAKER_01]: that was the very first Latinism mountaineering the bus leaves and you're not on it I don't

[00:44:23] [SPEAKER_01]: want to hear your excuses so there were so many life lessons from the time that we got into a

[00:44:31] [SPEAKER_01]: vehicle to get us to the mountain toward what happened in the climb to the summit the most important

[00:44:38] [SPEAKER_01]: part some people have good days some don't the people that are having a good day help the others

[00:44:45] [SPEAKER_01]: that we all get to the top together all of us is better than any one of us that is mountaineering

[00:44:52] [SPEAKER_01]: that is bottom line marketing that is my leadership but I think that's an important thing because

[00:44:58] [SPEAKER_01]: you have a wonderful staff here they support the mission thank you well that this is culture

[00:45:04] [SPEAKER_01]: and you lead by example with your enthusiasm and your caring I try to do the same

[00:45:10] [SPEAKER_01]: that is why mountaineering is so important to me to bring my students out on the mountain

[00:45:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and let them see some days you're going to freeze it's cold and you're gonna be hungry you're

[00:45:21] [SPEAKER_01]: gonna be tired but that does not let you off the hook to be accountable and a part of why I

[00:45:30] [SPEAKER_01]: did it yet so I I saw in school everyone wanted everyone to be comfortable okay all right you know

[00:45:38] [SPEAKER_01]: what you're gonna be I want them to be uncomfortable because when you go into this Wall Street

[00:45:44] [SPEAKER_01]: world I grew up in it gave new meaning to the word discomfort right because I'm surrounded by

[00:45:49] [SPEAKER_01]: strangers who couldn't care less about me and when you're on the mountain the rain and the snow

[00:45:54] [SPEAKER_01]: and the sleep that didn't care a lick about me what do we do we have to adjust to the unpredictable

[00:46:01] [SPEAKER_01]: that's a learn behavior if we only read about it we will never live it so part of my

[00:46:10] [SPEAKER_01]: burning desire to bring my students or anybody I've done it once at the corporate level

[00:46:15] [SPEAKER_01]: to bring them onto the mountain and let them feel how hard it is but the best part when all is

[00:46:23] [SPEAKER_01]: said and done you're soaking your feet in a tuba hot water you're recognizing it was worth it because

[00:46:29] [SPEAKER_01]: this is where the growth occurs it doesn't occur in the ease it occurs in the growth occurs in

[00:46:35] [SPEAKER_01]: the struggle and mountain climbing as a struggle is all careers that struggles now coming back

[00:46:41] [SPEAKER_00]: to something we touched on earlier in our conversation converting moments into opportunities

[00:46:47] [SPEAKER_00]: and you have an amazing approach here in the book the moment that defines your life

[00:46:55] [SPEAKER_00]: perception action will please break that out yeah well that is a still look philosophy where

[00:47:01] [SPEAKER_01]: if you take a situation with ten of us and you ask us to perceive it it's really fascinating

[00:47:07] [SPEAKER_01]: to see how different we see that circumstance by a different perception because we bring

[00:47:13] [SPEAKER_01]: a different lens you it's not grew up in a community that helped you form a perspective I grew

[00:47:19] [SPEAKER_01]: up on a military reservation of a civilian father of an academic father my mother was a penis

[00:47:24] [SPEAKER_01]: so I grew up to the sounds of language and music so everything to me I see through the lens of

[00:47:31] [SPEAKER_01]: these things that have formed me that's the perception which means when a circumstance occurs

[00:47:37] [SPEAKER_01]: it is not fair to think that you and I are going to perceive that situation as the same I may say

[00:47:45] [SPEAKER_01]: this is a tragedy and you may say what tragedy this is an opportunity look at the juxtaposition

[00:47:50] [SPEAKER_01]: the complete opposites of how we have perceived it crisis or opportunity well it depends on your

[00:47:56] [SPEAKER_01]: perception then we talk about all right what do you do with this right our ability to act

[00:48:03] [SPEAKER_01]: is based on that perception so if you believe it's a tragedy and I believe it's an opportunity

[00:48:09] [SPEAKER_01]: my act is going to be developed that into a plan that's going to maximize whether it's profit

[00:48:14] [SPEAKER_01]: or getting on a mountain and then having the will and I think this is the one that I talk about

[00:48:18] [SPEAKER_01]: the most what saddens me it's not is I often see my students come into the classroom

[00:48:24] [SPEAKER_01]: and they come in not intentionally and they don't have a will they don't bring that will the will too

[00:48:32] [SPEAKER_01]: succeed the will to communicate the will to learn emotional intelligence they come with the act of

[00:48:38] [SPEAKER_01]: do I need to know it for the test and will I get an A I couldn't care less about the grades but

[00:48:43] [SPEAKER_01]: what's lacking the will to develop themselves into something and what I often tell my students

[00:48:51] [SPEAKER_01]: don't focus on that focus on becoming focus on becoming something becoming a great communicative

[00:48:57] [SPEAKER_01]: becoming a great husband becoming a good father we don't do that and that's where the will comes in

[00:49:03] [SPEAKER_01]: that we apply the will the will to what well whatever that is it's going to be difficult because

[00:49:12] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have a road map when I wrote the moment that defines your life I wanted to provide

[00:49:18] [SPEAKER_01]: here are the tools that help you form that road map that help you see things that's your

[00:49:24] [SPEAKER_01]: perception that helps you to act that provides the will to want to do better not just to show up

[00:49:32] [SPEAKER_01]: so all of that I learned from the stoics that if you can apply those mental models in the circumstance

[00:49:41] [SPEAKER_01]: and temper that with a clear mind you can solve this problem it may not be immediate but at least

[00:49:48] [SPEAKER_01]: there is a method by which we can approach those circumstances and work out of those gems

[00:49:55] [SPEAKER_00]: that causes enormous stress and anxiety now when I have a guest like Chuck Garcia who's a

[00:50:10] [SPEAKER_00]: RAA public speaker so part of the challenge is how does everyone here wrapped her head around everything

[00:50:17] [SPEAKER_00]: that you do I understand you're giving a TED talk can you please just that's always fascinating

[00:50:24] [SPEAKER_00]: could you just talk about what's involved in preparation and some of the mental preparation and not

[00:50:30] [SPEAKER_00]: not letting it get to your head not getting too scared and yet at the same time easing such a

[00:50:35] [SPEAKER_01]: presentation yeah I know I appreciate that thank you and I'm when I think about all those things that

[00:50:39] [SPEAKER_01]: we're citing I don't think of it that way it's like I think of it I do one thing I just have

[00:50:44] [SPEAKER_01]: different mechanisms by which I do it so I communicate to me that's teaching sometimes I'm on a

[00:50:50] [SPEAKER_01]: stage sometimes I'm speaking but I do have a friend in Luxembourg who had read a client at the top

[00:50:56] [SPEAKER_01]: while ago and when the moment that defines your life came out I sent him the book we're just making

[00:51:02] [SPEAKER_01]: hey you know pastscape was his name I'm gonna give a shout out and pastscape read the moment that

[00:51:06] [SPEAKER_01]: his mind's your life and he is a lot like me in that he had in his first career he was a business man

[00:51:14] [SPEAKER_01]: and he did a bunch of things and he did quite well and in his second career he teaches at a

[00:51:19] [SPEAKER_01]: university and he's an author as well and so we have a lot in common we bonded very well

[00:51:24] [SPEAKER_01]: and he came back to me when he read the moment that defines your life and said we are we in Luxembourg

[00:51:31] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's a small country there's only 600,000 citizens but he said we are forming a TED Talk

[00:51:36] [SPEAKER_01]: in November a TED's day and we would like you to apply to come and give it TED Talk on the moment

[00:51:43] [SPEAKER_01]: that defines your life now I've trained a lot of people for the TED stage but I've applied twice

[00:51:49] [SPEAKER_01]: and for whatever reason it didn't work out so now we did but here's the best part one I'm very

[00:51:54] [SPEAKER_01]: grateful for the opportunity to step on the TED stage is a very proud milestone but here's the

[00:52:00] [SPEAKER_01]: great part yet, so we don't have an hour to do this episode TED Talks are no more than 18 minutes

[00:52:06] [SPEAKER_01]: and I've already developed most of what I'm going to talk about into 14 minutes how the heck

[00:52:13] [SPEAKER_01]: do I put the moment that defines your life into 14 minutes but that's the beauty of the TED Talk

[00:52:21] [SPEAKER_01]: the mental model what I have to talk about is it clear is it concise and is it purposeful

[00:52:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I got 14 minutes of magic I need to make how do I prepare for that give thoughtful, intentional and a

[00:52:34] [SPEAKER_01]: lot of trial and error in getting people in my world hey guys I'm going to give you 14 minutes of

[00:52:40] [SPEAKER_01]: the moment that defines your life what's the most important thing I don't have the luxury of being

[00:52:46] [SPEAKER_01]: broad here right I have to find something very specific I need to ensure that it is instructive

[00:52:52] [SPEAKER_01]: that I'm teaching something that is inspired hopefully that they'll take something away from it

[00:52:57] [SPEAKER_01]: but it has to be something there's a call to action what am I actually trying to do in that

[00:53:02] [SPEAKER_01]: 14 minutes I know I am going to try to inspire to persuade and provoke a change into how people

[00:53:11] [SPEAKER_01]: think about this thing of the emotional intelligence and stoicism and I got 14 minutes to do it

[00:53:17] [SPEAKER_01]: what an honor that is but I think it's such a great task that the TED organization said you

[00:53:25] [SPEAKER_01]: cannot come in here and pontificate for an hour 18 minutes that's all you got right so many of the

[00:53:31] [SPEAKER_01]: TED talks I trained some of the TED we did it in 12 I'll do mine in 14 this is a very good thing

[00:53:37] [SPEAKER_01]: because when we go to college we take a course for 45 hours three hours in a class the professor

[00:53:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I sat through all these talking talking talking the world does not respond to that very well

[00:53:51] [SPEAKER_01]: so I'm very glad that you months from now I'll be in late in Luxembourg on the TED stage

[00:53:57] [SPEAKER_01]: what a wonderful opportunity is to bring this work this this emotional intelligence and stoicism

[00:54:03] [SPEAKER_01]: to a European audience but also in the modern world we just broadcast it to the world and I'm grateful

[00:54:09] [SPEAKER_00]: and I turned to Mimi who handles the business class the tips that Chuck Josh shared are so

[00:54:17] [SPEAKER_00]: incredible for anyone giving a speech yes he he defined it through the lens of a tech talk

[00:54:23] [SPEAKER_00]: but anyone giving a speech that the way you really spelled it out that is a great model make sure

[00:54:31] [SPEAKER_00]: any speech you're gonna don't get up there like drone on denial listening right but if they follow

[00:54:36] [SPEAKER_01]: steps I'll have a link yeah and think about the mental model again we're always going to come back

[00:54:40] [SPEAKER_01]: to ask yourself not even ask yourself get get people who who are your friends who will tell you what

[00:54:46] [SPEAKER_01]: you need to hear not what you want to hear give them your 14 minutes and ask them tell me guys is

[00:54:52] [SPEAKER_01]: it clear is it concise and purposeful and if the answer is no start adjusting until you get there

[00:54:57] [SPEAKER_01]: that you do not deem your presentation complete until it is all of those three because if it's not

[00:55:04] [SPEAKER_00]: keep working it Chuck as you know well we're on the set that time flies we have two minutes left something

[00:55:12] [SPEAKER_00]: that's near and dear to your heart servicing others versus doing for others yeah could you please elaborate

[00:55:19] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah I read a book by the New York Times journalist is he was David Brooks and anyone who reads

[00:55:25] [SPEAKER_01]: in New York Times knows David Brooks and he wrote a bunch of books that resonated with me one of

[00:55:29] [SPEAKER_01]: books he wrote about is called the second mount and what he talked about he says I've met people in

[00:55:34] [SPEAKER_01]: my life there's something different about them they illuminate there's something they just

[00:55:41] [SPEAKER_01]: feel different and what he found is through the course of time many of us me you have climbed

[00:55:47] [SPEAKER_01]: two mountains the first mountain that we climb is the mountain of self that that mountain is

[00:55:53] [SPEAKER_01]: the traditional I'm going to succeed I'm gonna do my best it's all about me but what he said is

[00:55:58] [SPEAKER_01]: when he met people who were on this other mountain the second mountain that's not servicing the

[00:56:05] [SPEAKER_01]: self the second mountain services others and I am an embodiment of that metaphor because nine

[00:56:13] [SPEAKER_01]: years ago I said I don't need to do this anymore and when I climbed all of these mountains and I saw

[00:56:19] [SPEAKER_01]: these wonderful mountain guides let me a mere mortal not a great athlete and average athlete

[00:56:24] [SPEAKER_01]: with average intelligence leading me up these mountains I wasn't inspired by their service to

[00:56:30] [SPEAKER_01]: guys like me unyielding and their desire to ensure my experience and I became the kind of

[00:56:39] [SPEAKER_01]: teacher inspired by those guides when I came down from a mountain in Alaska called Mount Bona big

[00:56:47] [SPEAKER_01]: beautiful mountain way in the middle of nowhere I said this is my time I am going now on my second

[00:56:54] [SPEAKER_01]: mountain I'm gonna go home and I am gonna spend the rest of my days dedicating my life to the

[00:57:01] [SPEAKER_01]: service of other success that is my second mountain and I have to say what a thrilling adventure it

[00:57:08] [SPEAKER_01]: has been but short of raising my children I'm gonna give a shout out to my college students

[00:57:15] [SPEAKER_01]: nothing has been more fulfilling than to see them go out step up and take their place in the

[00:57:20] [SPEAKER_01]: world and succeed not just because of the things that I taught them but just to see them as I did

[00:57:26] [SPEAKER_01]: with my children to go into the world becoming the person that they were meant to be even if they

[00:57:33] [SPEAKER_01]: don't know exactly what that means at least what we can do as parents and teachers is provide

[00:57:39] [SPEAKER_01]: the tools and for the best and when I see how they're all doing what I've done in the service

[00:57:45] [SPEAKER_00]: of their success there's no higher calling Chuck before we say goodbye how could people find

[00:57:53] [SPEAKER_00]: that more about buying the book yeah and getting in touch with you like hey he's one great consultant

[00:57:59] [SPEAKER_01]: I need him on my team I appreciate that very easy to find me remember my name Chuck Garcia

[00:58:05] [SPEAKER_01]: so you got a Chuck Garcia dot com and there is a contact tab big blue button hit it put in your

[00:58:10] [SPEAKER_01]: name your email address and your phone number whatever however you want me to get in touch with you

[00:58:15] [SPEAKER_01]: that is the first way to do it you can also use the same if you go to Amazon Barnes and Noble

[00:58:20] [SPEAKER_01]: or Thriftbooks you can type in you don't even need to remember the title of my second book

[00:58:25] [SPEAKER_01]: called the moment that defines your life just remember Chuck Garcia make it one word or on the

[00:58:32] [SPEAKER_01]: website on Amazon Chuck Garcia on Barnes and Noble the books will come right up and you can

[00:58:37] [SPEAKER_01]: click on it and you can read them you can listen to them you can do read them on Kindle there's all kinds

[00:58:41] [SPEAKER_01]: of mechanisms Chuck I learned so much from you now I appreciate the you so thank you like wise that's

[00:58:47] [SPEAKER_01]: what good friends do we we are all each other's teachers thank you for having thank you for joining me

[00:58:52] [SPEAKER_00]: on this episode of Mind Your Business you heard Chuck's moment that defined his life 9-11

[00:58:59] [SPEAKER_00]: his incredible story of at 9-11 what's the moment that defined your life please share it in

[00:59:06] [SPEAKER_00]: the comments section below and join me on an upcoming episode of Mind Your Business